Overwhelmed.

It can't be Sunday night again already. Everyday is just a day closer to getting out of this non-stop stress lifestyle. This internship is the most classist, sexist thing I have ever had to deal with.
Business interns? They get paid for their services. Me? I had to pay $3K to get myself into this mess.
Planning 7 subjects for 5 days is completely impossible to do adequately. No one is learning anything in my classroom- they're just memorizing. I'm perpetuating a horrible cycle of poverty and stupidity.
Poor kids all go to the same school- so that school produces lousy test scores(because, you know, my students have other things to think about, like eating) and so they come under pressure from the state or, more recently, the feds via the state. So we get asked to drill and drill and drill on the same inane, ignorant, useless, and irrelevant material until the children can cognitively vomit this material back onto the test. (By the way, I was instructed regarding what to do if a child vomits on a standardized test. You'd think they were the dead sea scrolls or something...)So these children do poorly on the following year's material. Because every year, the material gets harder, until middle school and high school happen. Then the material becomes too much to memorize- you have to understand it. So they drop out because, well, school is completely impossible. How could you memorize an entire high school math class?
That's only one of the many things that is disgusting me about the public school system. All the latent rage and contempt I felt toward this system is slowly coming back to me, bit by bit.
I can't handle the idea of stamping all the originality or character out of children. I can't handle the doublespeak of an institution that gives daily anti-violence announcements, and then paddles misbehaving students. Most of all, I can't handle how much of my time is spent on engendering the stupidity that fills their textbooks.
All memorization is a waste. All learning under coercion is a waste.
The internet happened and made 99% of my work completely irrelevant.
You want to know how many ounces are in a cup? Don't waste your time filling your brain with that kind of inanity. Ask google.
My students need skills like critical thinking, data management, data organization, interpreting statistics, understanding finance. When they need to know what magma is called when it reaches the surface, they can google from a mobile phone.
All my students need is a class in how to be a good steward and good manager of all the data they have at their fingertips.
And until education is willing to make that kind of turn, my career will be 99% waste.
And I don't know how long I can continue to work a job where I have to trick my employer into thinking I am teaching geology and not critical thinking. I don't want a job where I live for the 1% of my day in which I get to teach something meaningful to the 1% of my pupils that want to learn it.
This is hard.